


Extremely Handsome, Incredibly Burly

by Naughty_Yorick



Series: Taagnus Week 2019 [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Fake Dating, Fluff, M/M, Protective Magnus, emergency kissing, just pure fluff, rated teen cos swears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 04:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21422260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naughty_Yorick/pseuds/Naughty_Yorick
Summary: Taako needs Magnus’ help in a rather… unconventional way. Magnus is only too happy to oblige.  Written for Taagnus Week on Tumblr for the prompt "Fake Dating".
Relationships: Magnus Burnsides/Taako
Series: Taagnus Week 2019 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544320
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92
Collections: The Taagnus Week Collection





	Extremely Handsome, Incredibly Burly

The surface of the bar was dark and slightly sticky with years of unwashed spills. Magnus’ fingers drummed out a rhythm on the tacky surface, leaving behind tiny, perfect fingerprints. He had been told, in no uncertain terms, to wait where he was. 

The rest of the IPRE crew were distracted – mingling with locals or, in the case of Barry and Lup, making out in a corner. The bar – more of a pub – was warm and friendly and the residents of the mid-sized town had taken them in with open arms. It was comforting, in an unsettling way; eerily familiar to their home plane. 

He was waiting for Taako to come back. He’d been distracted when they made their way into the bar – something about a street vendor – and had told Magnus to buy a drink for him. He had, of course, and was now sat at the bar, slowly nursing his own drink. It tasted almost entirely unlike mead. 

The welcome reception they’d received on this plane had meant that, for once, they had a lot more leisure time than they’d be expecting. The light had arrived soon after them and they’d retrieved it with minimal fuss, recruiting the residents in their mission. There were a few who doubted them but, on the whole, they were keen to help the newest members of their society. They seemed interested in them; but who wouldn’t be? They’d arrived from the stars riding a ship beyond any technology anyone on this plane had mastered. They were aliens – or gods.

Magnus was drifting, lost in thought, trying to place the familiar taste of the drink, when two long arms threw themselves around his neck. He was thrown off balance for a second, grabbing onto the bar to stop himself toppling from his stool, and before he could say anything, there was a pair of lips pressed against his.

He panicked, briefly, before realising who the lips belonged to. 

Taako was kissing him.  _ Taako _ . Taako who was perfect and beautiful and the most  _ unavailable  _ person on the plane was kissing him. Kissing him very enthusiastically. 

The panic of being kissed by a total stranger was replaced with a very different kind of panic. He’d imagined this before; imagined it in the middle of the night, when his thoughts drifted and he couldn’t rein them back in, but now it was happening, and Taako’s arms were wrapped around him and his lips were moving against his and Magnus – 

Magnus had no clue what he was doing.

He let Taako lead the way, relished the feeling of his closeness, of how soft his skin felt pressed against his own. He was about to let his lips part, to let him in, when Taako stopped.

He broke the kiss but didn’t pull away, pressing his forehead against Magnus’ so he could look him in the eye. Magnus was about to ask what was going on - or perhaps compliment him on the softness of his lips - but Taako let out a low, whispered “ _ shhh _ ” and silenced whatever Magnus had been about to say with another quick kiss. He gave him a look - an intense, burning look - then winked. 

Magnus was vaguely aware of the sound of the door to the bar opening – the sudden hum of noise from outside – before Taako grabbed his head in his hands, gave him one, last, lingering look, then leant in again.

This time, it didn’t take Magnus by surprise. 

Now he knew what to expect, now he knew what was happening, it felt like lightning, like electricity beneath his skin. The first kiss was like being struck by a meteorite, the shock so huge that he barely had time to register what was happening before it had stopped happening. But this… this he could enjoy.

Before, he’d been too distracted to even think about what to do with his hands, but now he moved them almost instinctively to the small of Taako’s back. He pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together, Taako releasing a soft gasp against his lips as he did.

Emboldened by the response, Magnus parted his mouth just a fraction more, their lips dancing. Taako’s fingers started to run through Magnus’ hair, sending shivers down his spine, and one of his hands cupped the back of his head, pressing them together. Magnus felt the tips of Taako’s fingernails dig into the soft skin at the nape of his neck and before he could stop himself he let out a soft, happy hum, smiling into the kiss.

He knew, in a dream-like way, that he should be questioning what was happening. That he should break away, ask Taako what the  _ hell  _ he was doing. But that would mean stopping whatever this new, magical, floating thing was – and there was no guarantee that it would ever happen again.

His eyes closed, he basked in the blissful feeling of Taako’s lips against his, the feeling of his slender frame beneath his hands.

“Hey, Taa- Oh.”

Taako extracted himself from the kiss and turned, still hanging off of Magnus’ shoulders. Magnus, feeling dazed, peered over the top of his head at the newcomer – he wasn’t too sure what he was, the races on this plane being so different to the ones he was used to, but he was tall and broad with a mop of unruly, deep blue hair. He had a short sword hanging from his hip. Instinctively, Magnus tightened his grip around Taako’s waist. 

“Oh. It’s just  _ you _ .” Magnus was pleased that the venom dripping from Taako’s voice wasn’t directed at him. The blue-haired man scowled at them. “Did you… want something?”

His hands were still wrapped around Magnus’ neck. He was talking smoothly, confidently, but Magnus could feel his fingers digging into his skin.

“So there  _ is  _ a boyfriend.”

“Mmm-hmm, sure looks that way. How about you run along?”

Magnus watched as the man’s fingers twitched, his hand moving just a few inches closer towards the hilt of his sword.

“I really wouldn’t do that if I were you, buddy.” Magnus straightened up a little. One hand he kept wrapped around Taako, the other reached towards his axe. 

The intruder’s eyes darted from Taako, to Magnus, to the axe. He took a step back, then shot a final, poisonous look at them before stalking out of the bar, the doors slamming behind him. Magnus felt Taako relax beside him.

“So,  _ boyfriend _ … you gonna tell me what that was about?”

Taako let Magnus go, slowly unhooking his arms from around his neck with a sigh.

“Just some creep. Didn’t take ’ _ no _ ’ for an answer. Didn’t take ’ _ fuck off _ ’ for an answer either.” He turned to Magnus with a wicked grin. “I’d have dealt with him myself, but… You know how Dav gets about fighting the locals.  _ Especially  _ with magic. I told him if he didn’t want to listen to me, perhaps he’d want to listen to my extremely handsome and incredibly burly boyfriend." 

Magnus tried not to feel disappointed – it had been a ruse, just another trick, just a –  _ wait _ .

"Extremely handsome?” He repeated, raising his eyebrows.

Taako made a so-so gesture with his hand. “Reasonably handsome. Six out of ten. Maybe six and a half. Although everyone’s basically a three compared to me, of course." 

He rolled his eyes. "Of course." 

"You know,” Said Taako, smirking, “You can let go now." 

Magnus realised that he was still holding onto Taako’s waist, keeping him pressed close to his side. "Ah…” He could feel himself blushing, his neck turning red, and let go. 

“The burly part was right, though. A guy certainly feels safer under those hands.”

If he was blushing before, he must be  _ glowing  _ now. Magnus gave an awkward cough and reached for his drink, desperate for something to do with his hands. Taako grabbed the nearest barstool and dragged it closer where he was sitting. He hopped up onto it, crossing his legs, his bare knees pointing towards Magnus, resting a heeled boot against one of the legs of Magnus’ stool.

He leant across him, reaching for the drink that Magnus had bought him earlier and completely forgotten about in the excitement. “This is mine, I presume?”

Magnus nodded, and Taako pulled the glass towards himself. 

“You’re a very good fake boyfriend, you know. Very…” Taako looked him up and down, taking a long sip of his drink. “…enthusiastic. Anyone would think you were enjoying yourself." 

"What about you?”

“Hmm?”

“Were  _ you _ ?”

Taako placed the drink back on the bar. “Was I what, darling?”

“Enjoying yourself." 

Taako smiled, looking pleased – looking smug. He licked his lips, ready to respond, raising one of his infuriatingly perfect eyebrows.

"Hey, losers.” They turned around simultaneously. Lup was watching them, a hand on her hip, her eyes darting between them. Her eyes narrowed, suspiciously. “You two look like you’re up to something.”

“No! Nothing!” Spluttered Magnus, just as Taako drawled, “Of  _ course  _ not, darling." 

She frowned at them, clearly unconvinced. "We’re gonna head back to the ship. You coming?" 

"Actually,” said Taako, rearranging his legs, uncrossing and crossing them again, “I owe the beefcake here a drink. We’ll catch you up later?”

It had the curl of a question to it, but it wasn’t a request. Lup peered at Taako for a moment.

“…Sure." 

She made to leave, then appeared to have a sudden thought. She glanced at Magnus quickly before leaning down and whispering something into Taako’s ear. He laughed, quietly, then batted her away. She raised her eyebrows at him.

"See you later, then. Ciao, Magnus." 

They watched them leave, Merle giving them a cheery, drunken wave as he passed. When they were gone, Taako turned to Magnus.

"So.”

“So.”

“What can I get for my favourite fake boyfriend?" 

Magnus was aware of Taako’s closeness, of his crossed legs just inches from his, of the way his foot was brushing – gently – against his thigh. His mind drifted back to the kiss, to the way Taako’s fingers had been tangled in his hair.

"Does it have to be a drink?”

Taako’s lips split into a wide, devious grin.

“I was hoping you’d say that." 


End file.
